life so different...

i just feel like i miss the single life i had.. but i don't know if i really miss it..
this days always reach home late and go out early, i know Dad is a bit unhappy..
my room need to be clean..
my throat is just so painful now..
had our gathering today.. and glad to say.. zw makes it a better outing..
i know i am very tired.. and i don't know how long i can last..
happy at times, hurt at times.. its been so long so long..
i'm just lousy.. i admit..
where is he now.. nv pick up my call =(
jus feel like collapsing..
heard so many stories and i am much more fortunate then they are.
well, i guess just take things as it is would be better.
i got to save money..
nite people..

memories...

suddenly, memories keep flooding in my mind today.. especailly the day i get to know him till now.. The moment i see him... and what had happen... the ten months i spent alone...

sometimes, what happen do bother me.. especially the part where i saw the msg but then i ask myself, so what if i ask him about it again, if he is not going to tell me the truth.. he will never.. then why make things unhappy for both of us since everything is kinda perfect now.. i should in fact put it as past.

i felt like i am the world most fortunate person. I have no worries for anything.. i get the best of whatever is provided for me... i got someone i love most.. and buddies who are always there for me when i need them.. though sometimes he don't realli treat me like what i want.. or rather a little princess.. but i guess that is for my own good.. and i don't want to be a spoilt girl.. i'm glad that i have got him... realli happy... he just knew his limits to being nice to me..

i guess i learnt to be contented after all this..

well, for today.. finally sleep my fill but when going for my driving lesson, i still feel so tired.. just keep yawning away... learnt parking today... parallel parking... not too bad... haha.. at least my car engine didn't die off.. so proud of myself... even another instructor praise me.. but my stupid instructor keep chatting with his instructor friend and left me all alone there learning parking.. and its my first time learning.. my god.. what if i crash his car? lol.. after that went home and bought my dinner too.. didn't have much appetite.. now my stomach feel so empty...

i have to curb my spending.. i know i spend abit too much and i am not working.. haix.. please help me..

i just love him...

its one month today... and i hope things are getting better...

i think too much sometimes.. i know i do...

i know i have also been working too much... that i am so tired..

and having the frequent headaches...

met up with weird incidents nowadays..

had a game of soccer with ling today and then i realise it can be of so much fun...

did enjoy myself but i was so tired...

would someone define love for me?

Just feeling so sucky now.. had my FYP presentation today, things didn't go well and left everyone in a very bad mood.. hopefully things will be better.

i know the day is not gonna to end like what i want.. well, things just don't go our way always.. haven't had enough rest recently due to FYP.. just simply tired..

anyway ifound the pet shop near my hse.. happy.. i vist there more often...

i'm so sleepy now...

god bless my baobei.. ling..

For Ling

Firstly, i want to say sorry to my ling coz i know he have been giving to me a lot this days... my temper has been very bad recently. Maybe coz of my aunt visit and stress over school work... always a one woman show... realli sorry... thanks for your tolerance. I wil remember not to step above ur head and pee like u say. no matter what.. thanks for letting me know u love me.. it somehow warms my heart... in a way.. i want to let u know, I love u too..

.................................................................................

I'm having a very bad headache. Finally manage to finish what i need to.. though a bit disappointed that ling nv call me... but haix.. its nothing la.. what's there to get so upset about. What Dad say tonight make me so upset too.. but forget it.. i know its not.. have been having stomach upset right from the moment i get home. feeling so unwell... what's wrong with me..

i need a rest badly.. night..

second posting of the day...

was feeling tired... don't know why...

i'm sensitive.. but i'm trying nt to be..

why do people lie... for good or bad..

sis seems to be so unhappy about me... don't know for what..

don't know what she wants... keep bad mouthing about everybody.. is she jealous or what...

had a nightmare that day...

don't know why.. i'm just like living in fear this few days.. my mood isn't very stable..

i'm just feel so afraid, afraid that i lose him one day. Is it that now that he is treating me well, i fear losing him more... or i'm too used of him in my life... or i'm prepared to spend the rest of my life with him. Yes, i'm prepared to spend the rest of my life with him.. and i'm more than happy to do so but no one noes what will happen. i may lose him one day again.. i won't know how i face it then. I know thinking about all this doesn't help, in fact it may only make things worse for us.. all i could do is hope that we are realli meant to be with each other for this life..

hope my mood get better.

I'm currently in school waiting for jia to arrive and to start on our FYP powerpoint presentation.

last night, i was thinking of my past, what i have done... what happen. many thing have happen and i should be glad that it did happen.

this few days, i do feel like a little princess but not a spoilt one hopefully.. maybe a bit... i felt loved... i felt the most amzing things tat had happen in my life.. and lastly i'm glad that God let me found him.. he change my life totally.. letting me see what the world is like.. though the dark side too but i am glad i did.. didn't want to stay like a goondo knowing nothing outside.. i know i am kinda like a sheltered girl.. good life.. nothing to worry about.. but i'm not gonna be one always..

i'm happy.. i really am.. not those realli forced happy that i have to make myself so unhappy to give in to him or what but i'm beginning to understand him.. after so long of breakup.. our love still growing strong... and we treasure what we had now.. i see another side of him.. a side i nv knew exist but its a good side definitely. we still got a long road ahead.. but i realli hope we could overcome all difficulties together and still be like now..

Just all this thoughts suddenly that i want to write down..

my FYP presentation is next week and i hope it go smoothly.

hope ling sore throat get well soon.. i don't want to hear him sing anymore.. especially the cai chun jia song.. =p

over~

finally its over, handed up our FYP at wed before 5pm. everything was in a rush... but finally its over.

ling bought a bag for me and i jus simply love it.

watch the maid with my buddies today and i just simply hate it, its so damn scary and ling is not there with me... i just sit there and cover my eyes.

i know things are going well and i am goin to treasure it...

this few days, my temper has been getting bad to worse for no reasons.

i jus simply love to sing... and i know my voice is getting rusty with ess practice i had for myself.

so easily tired recently.

my ling sick.. poor thing. hope he get well soon.

hope things will get well at home too.

god bless...

just fucked up...

arghz... FYP is just so sickening.

quarrel with Ling today, and my fears are kinda back..

which female or lady here would like to run after a guy like a shameless woman?

i don't want.. in fact this is the thing i thought i never do in my life... but.. life is life...

nothing goes the way u or i want it to me..

but somehow i just felt sux.. tonight..

friends. lovers, family... to me.. i don't know what matters most.. but i just know all i want is for this 3 groups of pple to get well.. together when they are in my life.. like a big happy family.. what i always ask for..

fy

fyp rush~

recently busy with my FYP and driving lesson. Our FYP must be submitted at 17 Aug.. which is just the coming wed... everybody is rushing it.. including my always slacking Ling.. lol... later going to continue my FYP report.. but meanwhile just wanna update my blog.. just got reprimanded from my dad coz of the phone thing but i decided to heck him... i am kinda stressed enough.

i have been kinda worried about some stuff concerning my ling and jealous over something.. knowing someone is not a good person and yet he told me he talk to her that day.. i kept quiet knowing it will only makes us quarrel and my ling's coming on new business. well, actually i am kinda don't know what to do.. coz i know he won't listen to me and also that i think i should trust that he has his limits but things were alot better this days... i'm getting to used to this life and contented with the way ling treat me... i always remind myself.. don't get overboard. hope things just stay the way it is.

at home, things were getting a bit rocky. i'm worried.. well, what if it realli happen... what will become of us? I don't know... its not that i can't take a life of the poor.. or middle average income family but i know somehow the family will break down. haix~

went to parkway parade with sis just now.. went to mothercare.. and its the bloody first time i went to this kinda shop.. haha.. but the clothes were jus so pretty and cute... but the price also damn nice.. then, i realise.. its realli not easy if u really want to have babies nowadays.. and meaning having babies means having good life.. for them before and after.. but a child childhood is very impt.. so if i am gonna have babies, i will have it when i don't hae to worry for money stuff and my baby will have a good life. One thing for sure, i wil sure enjoy buyin baby clothes.. lol.. they are just so damn nice and cute.. sis was so funny coz she didn't know what to buy and she just check out all the prizes.. then we end up buying the clothes at Isetan.. same brand and cheaper.. lol.. she bought a white mittens and booties with light green ribbon,a button top and long pants.. somehow i learnt a lot today.. haah for future use maybe.. =x

after the kids session, went to GIANT and both of us spend about half and hr there just searching for butter and gardenia bread.. lol.. shows what kind of people we are.. lol.. those type who sit at home and wait for our meal.. lol.. but GIANT is just so freaking big..

i'm looking forward to a day where i can dress up and go out with ling w/o our lappy..

shall go back to my FYP now.. update again..

holidays are like so long ad bored... with quarrels... and etc.. life at home stay the same... i wonder what i am thinking sometimes or what is it that i want in my life? I see happy couples.. happy family... sometimes when i see girls who treat their bf like slaves... i feel like they are such bitches, or when i see guys who treats their gf like shit.. i feel that they are some stupid bastards that take girls for granted... there isn't much relationship where there is equlity in it.. is there?

what i long for in a relationship?
i always felt that in a relationship, communication is very important. Its also important to give and take. Well, i hope for a relationship where two people can be like best buddies, respect each other and also be there for each other no matter what.. its an ideal relationship in my mind.

i really hope there won't be anymore breakups waiting for me ahead or quarrels...

it makes my stomach stirs at the thought of it. haix...

hope everything be fine and my FYP be done on time.

holidays~

currently having my holidays...

what do a woman want in life?

what do a woman find in a man?

my heart...

yu guo tian qing~

alright, it was somehow a disastrous morning cum early afternoon. Something happen in the morning, don't want to mention it anymore. Then quarrel with dad... over stupid issues.

went out with my buddies and went ot Kbox, didn't really have the mood until Wilbur appear. Well, before that, we were singing some oldies to entertain...also coz dia's mum was there.. and we acc her sing.. was one hell of fun.. had some good laugh and felt better...

wilbur came in and we were like laffing like mad... hahas... he took photos with us and sing with darren and he even praise darren. faint le.. so proud of our darren. wahaha... then notice darren and wilbur were wearing about the same... lol..

after that went for dinner at scotts with dia's parents and a series of damn farnie stuff happen. too long story.. and i'm damn lazy now. its quite a long day.. but the day end with. I never speak to my dad, after i get home.. somehow spoil everyting.. but fuck.. i just felt he is unreasonable. forget it... shan't carry on..i'm tired.. bb

well, actually don't know what should i write... i just feel like bloggin... mm... just write about my day...

firstly, had a macdonald mcchicken for breakfast today, hahs... then went for driving... driving lesson was good today. nothing happen... haha... and i somehow enjoy it... though its kinda bored and my legs always go wobbly after my driving lesson. Then, came back and bought some food for my family and parkway parade was damn crowded.. so sian.. went home and finish my book then went to parkway parade again with aunt... bought a esprit top and some hehehe...

then went home and had dinner. plain boring day... but i'm happy... hehe...

i'm happy that u speak out
i'm happy that u share
i'm happy that u give in
i'm just simply happy with u

tml going out with my buddies... hope i enjoy myself.. so long nv go out with them le... wahaha...

the feelings so fresh and so real..
i had it once, and i had it twice..
all because of u..
i do wonder if this feelings stay..
but u show me.. the coldness u once had was coz of anger..
feelings weren't gone so easy..
it just fade..
u show me how it fade.. once
& i'll show u how it grew..
and hope it grew till the end of our life.

my smile~

Huai qing say something which somehow surprise me... deep in me.. i agree with him.. ya its been a long time since i am really happy. i do wonder if he is the only one who could bring smiles to my face, to brighten up my life... well, who knows?

alright, first thing today, i am happy.. coz.. heehe... i went out... though nothing much.. but i feel contented.. then came back home, got another surprise... no one is at home... but i saw something moving at the balcony and the sound of chain tinkling at the balcony... hahas.. ah biy is back... woohoo.. i hug him and he lick me.. wahha.. so cute.. so glad that he can finally enjoy his life now..

i love u... our dreams our future...

flash discovery...

this morning, reach school rather early but i realli enjoy the morning breeze as i sat at the balcony with my grandeur coffee. Finish my coffee and went to school.

school today just sux coz its stats.. i just hate it.. why? Coz its maths, and my team members is mostly MIA. This few days, keep argueing with Ling over small issues... i just hate it.. hope his mood will be better and i will be more understanding. after school, stay back in school for FYP, do our flash animation. At first, Jia and I had some difficulties in doing it and we were both like going crazy in class. She keep laughing at laughing at the animation we do. In the end, we only manage to finish like 2 animations.

my hand is so painful. hope everything will be fine and good.

fuck up day...

wake up early coz i wasn't used to sleeping in this bed... was feeling kind of like shit.. then went for driving lesson. came back and they already playing mahjong and i was like quite pissed by that. I sat there andheard that they finish lunch and never left any food for me... even more fuck up... then i sat at the dining table and mum just look at me and stare at me then she turn away.. wtf.. i nv do anything... my face was damn black.. then nvm... while i was washing my own clothes just now, sis just shouted and bang at my door, i thought my door was going to ollapse if i hadn't go and open it up for her and when she was doing that, i was bloody bathing anf washing my clothes.. wtf.. so damn pissed.. i went to open the door and let her used the toilet... i feel so damn angry at that time... but i just kept quiet.

Ling keep havng pms this two days... i also don't know what to say.. but i somehow think i am getting used to this. Maybe could say this coz i am quite surprise to the way i react it. Just had my dinner.. and have been having my headache since morning... arghz... and worst of all.. i got no panadol at home... sucks... i going to watch my project superstar... tired...

i hope i can trust u 100%... trust + understanding = love

life has been so far so good...

now living in Mp still not used to certain stuff... but i guess i be able to get used to it...

sometimes i just don't know what some people are thinking of... they are just weird... but like ling say.. sometimes no need to care about them.. i guess its a good idea...

having my driving lesson later... gonna prepare... bb...

words from the heart...

i heard it from him finally.... and i am glad i finally waited... i guess we are going to be happy... we will...

my dog is back home... though his fur is kinda cut till dunno like what... but i still love it.. its jus so smart... my darling ah boy.. lolx...

sorry to Darren for not attending his birthday dinner... but nevertheless... hope u enjoy ur day...

tml having java UT... jus sux and at the same time.. from tml onwards, i be living in marine parade.. so far from ling.. sadded..

did something that make me feel so guilty tonight... haix..

good luck to ling and me for our Ut tml...

i must practice mutual trust... i have to... i feel so loved... whahaha..