coming to Year 2006

year 2005 is going to end in 34 mins time. spend this new year eve at home.. to be frank, i am bored to tears... so bored and somehow dunno wat cause be to be like a bit low.. just read dia's blog... glad that she was happy and her wish came true.

for 2006, i wish my wish come true too. to have a happy family and a bf who love and care for me.

my niece came today.. and she is jus cute.. i took some photos but i think i post other day.. kinda lazy and no mood today... well.. shall leave all the unhappiness behind and step into 2006 happily like everyone say.. happy new year.

i think i shall step up on my sch work.

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want.And that's marriage - with the right person.You're serious about settling down some time soon.Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's" Your Ideal Relationship?

simple day~

woke up late as usual today but earlier than yst... sis came in the afternoon to get a letter and ask me to have lunch or dinner with her.. so i just bathe and went along.. we chat a lot today... many things in life.

i realise many things.. she told me her stories of her love life and ask abt mine.. i realise tat my sis and i are quite similar in our thinking.. she even told me abt her experience on child birth which well surprise me so much.

when a woman learnt to be smarter after being with the guy for some time.. and when she realli get smart and wise enuff.. she can live w/o the man...

sis ask me nt to be so committed in a relationship coz girls always lose out.. and something was in my mind then.. she told me what she went thru and more things come into my mind. i felt that i am in one of the stage she went thru... but whether the end will be the same will be another diff story.

now i have a lot of thoughts in my mind.. well, shall nt dwell on it too much.

it's Christmas Eve

well, going to meet my darling later... i have been having my cough for about a week plus.. terrible..

well, felt that life has been different.. sometimes i felt like i am the only person that is living.. the feeling of emptiness ba... looking at what is happening ard me.. i learnt from them.. apart from that i could only watch.. i wish my life ahead would be happy with someone i love.. and my faily members could be happy too..

hopefully, tomorrow will a good day and darling and i will spend a wonderful day together.

this few days, have been doing my fyp and also busy reading a book that i have been looking for so long ever since CT told me tat time. Its a book about a vampire falling in love with a human.. quite interesting. going to start on another book soon.. kinda tired now...

i hope i could look into my life in a better way.

down~

last night had a quarrel with ling and somehow i am feeling very unsettled.. its true that sometimes i want things to happen the way i want it to.. unknowingly.. but i do know that is wrong after that.

in every human being, is there always a side of them that they didn't want others to know. Looking at my older bro.. using the pone inside his room.. i could guess what is he doing behind his gf back.. it makes me shudder with fear that i would meet someone like that.. i dislike him for being a useless fella.. in work or being a man..

then, my dad who told me he is at kallang just walking and looking ard.. it sounds weird but i know dad sometimes do this kind of thing alone.. i think he just wanna get some peace..

my mum.. not considering our family financial is still spending quite freely to say.. though there is no financial problem but well, there is no money coming in too..

then i wonder, since mum marry dad that means she love her.. so why would she spend his money like w/o worries or to say.. like its none of her business whether he is making any money or not.. and for dad, since he love mum.. sometimes it seems like he just couldn't tolerate all her naggings and blah.. and sometimes with my aunt.. they do tok abt mum bad points.. my brother is well, thrown away.. useless.. i must say i would like his gf to leave him one day and make him regret wat he is doing again and again.

i wish my family in future, would be open and happy... my husband won't misuse my trust and will do his job as a husband.. no secrets in the family..

memorable day...

yst was dec 14 and an unforgetable day for me. why i say so.. went to meet ling after my project and we watch King Kong.. quite a sad show.. then after that we went swensen for dinner and paid two dollar for that meal.. lol.. haha... shall not say why.. and we ate two main course.. one banana split and an extra fries. only 2 dollars wor.. well then after that we both felt not very full and we went to don't know which market at jurong for seafood.. lala and the sambal fish.. after the meal.. we were both like preganant.. so farnie.. and we took a stroll to lakeside mrt.. had a wonderful time with ling.. so sweet.. i wore that pendant and tis is the second time ling say something look good on me.. the last time he say this was during 25/12/2003. hhaha...

for today, went to simei to help daddy with the painting.. so damn tiring.. and i got myself in a mess too with the paint.. haha.. quite fun.. draw tic tac toe on my dad with paint while he is painting.. smart leh.. wahaha.. dad also told me that what ling and i ate yst wasn't lala but something call "big head" in teochew.. mm.. now im very very tired after a whole day of work + tomorrow still need to go..

stories and stories~

gotten sick this two days... so jus had to spend my time reading in bed.. so bored yet feel so weak especially the night before. wake up quite a number of times at night with a heavy head and weak limbs. now much better...

finish two books this week.. wonderful stories.. though the one written by sandra brown was somehow quite the usual type of endings that i read in all other novels but no doubt it is interesting enough to keep me going on till i finish the whole book.

this book by olivia goldsmith which leaves a impression or give me a different view towards life was rather another book that i would like to read again. The book was about a girl who had been in love with someone in her company holding a higher position and she is quite the common type.. every reader would have thought that the ending will be that she ends up being with her prince but in the story, it took so much of a twist and a unexpected ending. It talks a lot about her fulfilling life in london, something which changed her. Well, i do admire her courage.. to face and know what she realli want.. i guess if one day i had do so.. many things would have change.. but compared to her.. i am so much fortunate.. in life..

i had a goal or to say a target of where i am going next in life.. i guess i need to talk to my sis in the sense of some advice.. i realise that no matter how much wisdom or how smart someone is.. its not within one control that what is going to happen or what can happen. I always felt that a smarter or someone wise can change things or maybe change a person perception or views in life with their "gifts"... but i suppose god being fair give everyone a choice to be affected by people or follow their own mind or heart.

my life has been rather peaceful, i guess i need to make it a bit interesting.. i want to learn knitting and also go to london.. after i read the book.. it seems there are so much things to be explore.. and i very much like this experience.

some thoughts just flood my mind suddenly.. what happen these days...

wanted to go out and take a walk.. feel so tired no matter how much rest i have..

can i have some more shows to keep me busy..

have been rather free this days.. except doing my projects.. now having a bad headache and also a sorethroat. haix... feel like i am gonna fall sick soon. now feeling like my head is so heavy.. and weak..

last night had a wonderful chat with darling but guess he is realli tired out after chatting.. its just a time we really open up and chat.. happy over it..

well, realise something.. when i want to do something.. i often lack of the confident to complete the task and believe that i can do it by myself.. instead i jus stop halfway. I think i need to train up my perseverance and confidence desperately. have been reading my books lately, surprisingly, i don't feel bored over this books from my school library.. but i am still finding that book about the vampire falling in love with a human.. or vice versa.. no fate with that book.. hope next week i could have a good meal with darling and enjoy the king kong movie. keep feeling tired regardless of how much rest i had.. why am i so lousy..

looking forward to seeing my niece tis weekend.. and a wonderful dinner with my family..

wondering what present to get for darling.. shall go and crack my head now..

happy days...

its been so long since i ever feel blissful not to say that he had been ill treating me... but maybe not as good or sweet or making me feel like a lady he loves and appreciate.. i'm glad for what is happening.. but he knows me too well like i know him too well sometimes.. like telepathy.. hahas.. i hope he be like that and not like my brother... i feel bad to have a brother like that.. to say i even despise him for not being mature enough at his age.. well, i hope he regret one day..
realli hope he learnt his lesson.

today's cynthia birthday.. i must say she is a good lady.. those extinct species but my bro is somehow an asshole.. forget abt it.. i did my part and bought a cake for her.. coz i understand that.. every woman doesn't want to spend her birthday at home.. especially playing mahjong the whole day.. w/o even a gift or a treat or even a little thought from someone they love.. it be so depressing.. at least my aunt, me and dad and mum show that we appreciate her for what she has done all the time. i bought a ckae from bakerzinn for her.. haha..

next thing is my school work.. FYP have been soso.. my corrupted file cant be save.. so sad.. i lose all my photos.. and even my mp3.. nowadays have been having those kicks to sing again.. dunno why.. i regret not having the guts to sing at project superstar.. didnt have the mood to go for my driving lesson also.. just sian.. jia you.. i'm so thirsty now..

shall update abt my boring life again.. or to say peaceful life..

unlucky day...

i format my com today due to FYP.. coz i cant install VB.net properly with the IIS.. and the only solution IT Helpdesk gave me is to reformat.. then i happen to send my bro all the files for backup and guess what happen.. the file is corrupted now.. im so stressed and called ling just to hear him annoyed with me asking all the questions abt whether i can get my file back.. it make me even more annoyed... and pissed.. arghz.. now feeling damn bad mood and frustrated. saw paul's blog and come across a something like i always do in friendster's bulletin and decided to do it.. shall calm myself down.

7 random facts about me:

- i am emotional
- i am usually quiet
- look strong but weak
- cry very easily
- love quiet areas
- can be very lazy
- like to imagine

7 things i plan to do before i die

- get married and enjoy married life
- bring my family for a overseas trip
- try all the things that i never dare to at the theme park
- perform once again
- have a wonderful meal with my good friends
- dance with someone i love
- live by the beach

7 things i can't do

- not watching at shows
- forgive anyone that tries to hurt me
- kill any animal
- being hard hearted to people close to me
- slacking my life away
- bungee jump
- not cry when i am hurt

7 things that scare me

- insects
- losing my loved ones
- being alone in this world
- war
- the outside world
- betrayal
- losing myself

7 most important things in my room

- my chou chou
- my comb
- my bed
- my fan and aircon
- my wardrobe
- my gougou
- my makeup

pray that i can open the stupid file... god u have always been very nice to me.. pls.. this is impt.. my ppm, FYP and all the photos are all inside.. pls..

normal life~

everything had been the same... working life make me a tired person but i have been eating well but not sleeping well lately. My darling had been sick and coughing for sometime.. haix.. poor thing... good news.. i had finish my PPM and i think my CE points too..

my holidays have arrived.. should be rotting at home.. looking forward to the christmas celebration.. i love christmas.. but don't know how am i going to celebrate it. abit sianz also.. co i noe it won't be anything special.. nuttin much to talk abt.. bb..