mixture of emotions..

uncertainties in me can only be clear as time goes..

people change and I agree I have changed too.. a more independent person and someone who yearn for more in life.. not a simple and happy marriage.. but living life to the fullest and being happy..

reaching my 20th birthday so soon... time realli flies... realli wish I could get a car soon so I don't need to travel till wanna die..

I yearn for a change in him for 3 years.. 3 long years.. is that consider the peak of my life.. i'm not sure.. but surely its a time long enuff for test if I wanted a life long partner.. it seems that I break down but at last I give in again all coz of one word.. love.. I know he is feeling all the insecurities now and I'm trying to assure him for all I can now.. now I realise there is more to it then just all this..

I thought he would not have all this fears coz breaking up with me was nothing more than peanuts to him.. but it seems otherwise.. maybe its jus diff..

my sch work is weighing me down though I'm giving my best shot. Don't think he understand.. when he say I only care about my studies... maybe I am too much in that sense.. but I will nv forget what Dad told me.. I will never let him down.. time management is all I need now.. I will try my best for this relationship and Ling. Hopefully, we will be spending our life together.. after so much..

20 this year le.. one year older.. more worries again..

anyway.. thanks Marc for the so advanced birthday wish...

a common wish...

my wish now if have a day by myself and stay at home to sleep. Still haven got the time to rest well after my trip back from KL... have been doing project after project.. so damn tiring..

was considering the job offer that I had from the HQ people.. don't realli know what could be the best at this time..

jus need to get enough rest so that there won't be so much pimples on my face.. *sadded...

my house having so much problems cropping up.. hate to see my sis like that and I hate that man..

new discovery of myself~

its been 6 days since Ling went in to NS. Nothing much have change just me maybe hanging out with my frens more often. The day when he was going in I was fighting so hard to fight back my tears though I failed but nevertheless, I hope he know I'm there for him. The moment I stepped out of his house I knew that he was really going to go NS le.. and this was like facing the truth myself. All I did was waiting for him to call, and hoping he was well and safe. The first call I recieve from him jus make my heart cringe when he say how bad life was there and that he didn't eat much as the food wasn't what humans eat like he say... I felt my heart ache for him.. which I could jus maybe cook something for him and bring there.. what I'm happy about is that he is able to communicate with pple well and I think that is very useful over there.

As for me, haven been able to get enough rest from my trip back from KL as its always work, test and projects but life have been rather fulfilling for me.. i make good use of every minute to learn or to work.. I seem to enjoy learning nowadays for no particular reasons. Though the stress sometimes gets me down and ling is not ard when I need help. I learnt to cope everything with what I have all thanks to Ling. He make me a more independent person. Finish my BC project and now halfway thru my OB project. Exams are comin also... got to work hard.

have been eating and eating with Row, and Jia says wanna go Kbox on 25th Sept coz its our project deadline, after submission then go celebrate... ahaha.. looking forward to it but hardwork come first.

go to get enuff slp and exercise...